Parenting through Divorce
By John Goetz, LPC
If you are a legal adult, a person who has attained the age of majority and is therefore regarded as independent, self-sufficient and responsible, you will immediately recognize my following statement to be true: life is hard.
Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros
Life is beauty through and through
Life is sunny, life is cool
Life is even easy too
But if my word is to be true
Life is something to behold
But if the truth is to be told
Let us not leave out any part
Do not fear, it's safe to say it here
You will not be called a weakling nor a fraud
For feeling the pain of the whole wide world
You want to help but can't help the feeling you cannot
And it's killing you while you're just trying to smile from your heart
So go on, say it, on the same knees you're praying
Yes, life is hard
Hard takes all shapes and forms and is often colored by our own individual perspectives but each and every one of us will face hard times, hard decisions and other hardships. As adults we will pick ourselves up, sometimes on our own and sometime with help from family, church, community and maybe even strangers.
Divorce is a hard. By definition it is a loss, the ending of a marriage. Divorce with minor children is a loss which requires two adults who end their marriage, regardless of the reason, to stay in communication with each other. With this in mind I am writing this article to inform you of new legislation that goes into effect this November 1 2014.
House Bill 2249 states, in cases where a divorce is granted for grounds of incompatibility, and when the interest of a child under eighteen years of age is involved, the adult parties shall attend an educational program concerning the impact of divorce on children. Cost of the program shall be no less than $15.00 per person and no more than $60.00 per person. Topics to be included in these programs are
1. Short-term and longitudinal effects of divorce on child well being
2. Reconciliation as an optional outcome
3. Potential child behaviors and emotional states during and after divorce, including information on how to respond to the child’s needs
4. Effects of family violence
5. Communication strategies to reduce conflict and facilitate cooperative co-parenting
6. Provision of information on area resources, including but not limited to, nonprofit organizations, religious organizations, etc. to address issues of substance abuse or other addictions, family violence, behavioral health, individual and couples counseling, and financial planning
Edmond Family Counseling will be offering this program as a community service beginning November 5th. This program will be offered as an open group on Wednesdays from 5:00-6:00 pm at a cost of $40.00 per person. An open group format means that an individual may start the program on any given Wednesday but to complete the group, he or she must attend four consecutive sessions. In practical terms a person will need to commit to attend four Wednesdays in a row without an absence. The only exception will be if Edmond Family Counseling is closed due to weather or holiday. EFC will require that divorcing couples attend this program separately.
My goal as a co-facilitator of this program is to understand that adults attending this program as required by HB2249 are individuals with different stories and needs, but like the rest of us can appreciate the offer of a helping hand when life is hard. With that in mind, I want to encourage members of our community to help spread the word and take advantage of this local service. People may register for the program by phone by calling EFC at 405-341-3554. Please help support this program and others designed to serve and educate the community in the areas of mental health and substance abuse by donating on our website: www.edmondfamily.org. Be sure to “like us” on Facebook and have your teen download the beedmond app. Stay safe, stay connected.
