Making Resolutions vs. Making Resolutions Happen
Something about the dawning of a brand new year seems to stir in us that urge for new-ness in other areas of our lives as well; hence the birth of New Year's resolutions a new diet or exercise plan, a new-found ability to locate things once we clean out closet-- a new US in one sense or another. I doubt I'm unusual in having to admit that I made the same New Year's resolutions for five years in a row which tells you something about how successful I was in achieving them that first year or the next three. What I somehow learned along the way was this: with any goal we set, being specific is crucial to accomplishment. If I merely commit to exercising more this year without formulating a plan for doing it.I've set myself up to fail from the start. I' ve committed to the idea without committing to the action. To foster a commitment to the action, I'll ask myself numerous questions about the what and how of the process. To address the what, I'll identify specific steps I'm willing to take to make this goal happen. Then I determine how I'm going to accomplish those steps.
Take the example of exercising more. If I stop with that short statement as my goal, I've left a lot of unanswered questions: more than what? How will I be able to tell if I really am exercising more? A preferable, specific statement of what would be a description of the form of exercise and an exact amount of time, such as walking 30 minutes, 3 times per week and weight training for 30 minutes twice a week. (It should be noted I can specify something grandiose, such as an hour of jogging and an hour of weight training, alternating every other day, but if I'm not willing to truly commit to that, then the whole process is pointless, and again doomed to failure.) Then I address the how by outlining small, measurable steps I'm really willing to take. This may require some time, thought & analysis of the situation and resources. Do I have the needed equipment? Do I have a place to exercise at home or will I need to go to a gym? Can I afford a gym or would it be more feasible for me to invest in a couple of exercise videos or walk in my neighborhood? Is childcare an issue? Taking the time to write down the main goal and the intermediate steps is an investment that will pay off by increasing the chances of success. It also provides a ready-made checklist by which progress can be gauged. Once completed, this will probably resemble those chapter outlines we were required to do in junior high.
As with any change in behavior we undertake, a gradual approach may guard against feeling overwhelmed and giving up. If I' ve done a very limited amount of exercise in the past, I might want to begin with 15 minutes, three times a week, and once I'm comfortable with that, increase another few minutes, or add another day. If I've made it a goal to eat fish three times a week, and I haven't been even eating it once a week previously, I would probably start by eating it once a week, then increase to twice, then three times, over a period of a couple of months. It's important to keep in mind not only our goal, or where we want to go, but where we've come from. That acknowledgement is a reminder of progress we've made toward the ultimate goal and can serve as motivation.
There's apparently a universal shortage of time in America, as this is by far the most common reason given for not pursing goals. Most of us spend a fair amount of time almost every day in meaningless or mindless activity that we could eliminate without undue angst, thereby giving ourselves time for something that is meaningful to us. This is not to say we should give up time spent in truly rejuvenating and restful relaxation; we all need that on a regular basis. But often we engage in busyness or perpetual motion to avoid feeling non-productive as if we have to justify the space we take up. To determine where we might find more time, it's useful to keep a rough schedule of how our time is spent over a few days. Next, rank each activity on the schedule form 1 to 10, reflecting how important it is. Then rank the new goal is there anything on the schedule ranked below that of the new goal? If so, that would be the activity to replace with effort toward our goal.
An all-or-nothing mindset can prevent us from utilizing small chunks of time to work toward a goal. Almost all of us can find 20 to 30 minutes every day or two to do something important to us. Foregoing that sit-com or web-surfing could free up half an hour. If we can convince ourselves that anything is better than nothing in terms of time and effort toward our goal if well actually commit that 30 minutes to it we'll find ourselves on the path to actually achieving it! To borrow the Nike phrase:Just do it (for 30 minutes)! A goal worth making is a goal worth making happen. How will you make yours happen? Good luck and Happy New Year!
