• Call Now: 405.341.3554
  • Connect

Edmond Family Counseling Articles

Articles by the Counselors at Edmond Family Counseling

Do You Know Your Teen’s Love Language

Thursday, April 14, 2016

By Amanda Percival, Staff Therapist

One of the reasons that I pursued a career as a therapist was my desire to help strengthen others' relationships. I love to work with couples and families. Although the majority of the clients I see are teens, one common thread many of the teens have is a lack of feeling loved and accepted by their family. Many times this comes as a shock to their parents because the parents truly do love and care for their teen. So why the discrepancy between the two? One resource that I frequently share with parents is the book by Gary Chapman titled, The 5 Love Languages. Chapman's initial book was meant for married couples, but he has expanded his collection to include love languages for children and teens. The books are also available translated into Spanish.

Chapman's theory is that everyone has a “love language”. Much in the same way that I could not communicate love to my child by speaking Spanish if they only understand English, I have to speak my child's love language in order to effectively communicate my love for them. For some, this may seem like common sense. However, I have seen this revolutionize relationships so I believe it is worth sharing.

The 5 love languages he includes are:

  • Quality Time
  • Physical Touch
  • Words of Affirmation
  • Gifts
  • Acts of Service


Many of us default to the love language that we most prefer and understand, and the one which is easiest for us to perform. Quality time can be anything from watching a football game together to enjoying a hike together. Physical touch can include high fives and hugs with your children or cuddling and sexual intimacy with your spouse. Words of affirmation are all those sweet compliments that we love to hear, “You look nice today,” or, “Your new haircut looks great.”, or “Great job on your math test!” Gifts do not have to be expensive or extravagant. They can include flowers picked from outside or a surprise ice cream cone. Acts of service are when you go out of your way to do something nice for another. Maybe you make a favorite meal for your child or take your spouse's car to the car wash.

This may sound so easy; too easy. But you would be surprised at how bad we can be at executing this. Once you know what love language your child or spouse speaks, you can “love” them in the way that they hear and understand you. You can go to www.5lovelangues.com and take a short quiz to determine which of the five you or your loved ones favors most. The website also includes more details in regard to each of the love languages. Many of us enjoy elements from each of the five, but we have one or two that we gravitate to most. I would also recommend reading Chapman's book. It is readily accessible at most book stores as well as online and in most libraries. I have seen it be a great resource in marriages and families. If you would like more information on marriage counseling, parenting, or any mental health concern, give Edmond Family Counseling a call. You can also follow us on Facebook or check out our blog at www.edmondfamily.org.

 



Comments
Post has no comments.
Post a Comment



Captcha Image

Trackback Link
http://www.edmondfamily.org/BlogRetrieve.aspx?BlogID=17125&PostID=1450232&A=Trackback
Trackbacks
Post has no trackbacks.

Recent Posts


Tags

Freshman Year Summer Plans for Teens Oklahoma drug use Darcy McConnell Anger Working Parents Call of Duty Siblings in Conflict Death Ridley Scott Oklahoma Department of Human Services Parenting James Dobson Teen Safety Childhood depression Holidays Wax high school Happiness United States Drug Enforcement Agency World Health Organization Learning Organization Emotional Development Family Systems Theory Technology Cell Phones How to control panic attacks Depression Feldman and Kravetz Teen Parenting Relationships Emotions Goal Setting Drinking in high school Will counseling work quickly Summer Teen Drug Use Teens and Smartphones Substance Abuse Bullying Prom safety Belinda Crosier Chores for Teens Bias and memory Supersurvivors Unemployment and depression DIY Marriage counseling Disability Negative Thinking THE PALEO DIET Elizabeth Loftus Unemployment How to talk to your kids about terrorism 710 College Transitions Help for panic and anxiety Setting Boundaries with Adult Children Speaker Listener Technique Disasters Procrastination Role Models Normalcy Setting Boundaries for Your Teen Choices Medical Use of Marijuana in Oklahoma Micro-aggression The Miracle Worker The Amazing Race Panic Disorder Early Treatment of Depression Parenting and Cell Phones Helen Keller Family Roles Positive Reinforcement HB 2249 Confidentiality Independent Living Teen Suicide Great Depression Heroin in the Suburbs gadgets Misconceptions of Smoking Marijuana Grandparenting responsibility Retirement Planning Mayme White Miller Grounded Hope fads How to recognize domestic violence personal growth Quinton Ellis Strong Willed Child self-sabotage Brain Research Aggregated News for Teens What is domestic violence Holiday stress Boundaries Children Al McCormick Child Development Developmentally appropriate strategies for grief counseling Mild-Depression Jay Asher How prevalent is domestic violence David Feldman Edmond Character Council How many sessions do I need Waxing Is therapy forever Discipline Butane Honey Oil Political Correctness Exercise treatment for depression Sanjay Gupta Instagram National Drug Threat Assessment Summary Communication techniques for couples Underage Drinking John Goetz Child Abuse Apps for Teens New year’s resolution Stress Time Management Food Allergies parenting college age kids Retirement Social Media bucket list Limitations of counseling Anxiety MEDITERRANEAN DIET Depression and social media Seniors Family Theory Teenage Development Mental Health Isolation in teens Audrey Woods Adult Children Communicating with your teen AARP Newsletter Alcohol Links between unemployment and depression Teenage perception of drug use diet Suicide Prevention for Teens Chad McCoy Divorce School Grandparent Initiative brain Summer time parenting Parent peer pressure Marriage counseling Affluenza Parkland Shooter Communication Character Development Teen Jobs Self-Esteem Suicide Drug Use Codependency Ben Carson Addiction Jackie Shaw Nutrition and stress Drugs Spanking Dr. Ben Carson Decision-Making History Bias Edmond Michael Jackson How do children process trauma Young Adults Therapy Positive Thinking Millenials Annie Sullivan Movies for Teens Why did the system fail Scapegoating Twitter Funding Trauma Edmond drug use Hanna Baker Self Image Legalization of Marijuana Prescription Drugs Community Suicide Prevention Programs When Teens Should Get a Cell Phone Panic attacks Risk taking Drug Abuse Marriage Culture College Campus Golden Child Prom ADHD College Age Children Peers What Really Matters Americans with Disabilities Act Heroin Crisis Divorce with minor children College non-verbal communication Donald Miller Parenting Teenagers Presidential debate Teens and Time Management School goals Teens Use of Technology HK pen Opiods Support Group Gender Roles 5 Love Languages Political bias Back to School THE KETOGENIC DIET Consequences Marijuana Domestic violence resources Co-Parenting Class Enabling Adult Children Oklahoma Statute on Marijuana GirlStrong Suicide Prevention Recommendations Joshua and Rebecca Weigel Schedule 1 Drug Bong Positive Illusions Captain of Your Ship Fear Changing Problem Behavior Self Investment The Martian Book Fidget Spinners Amanda Percival Disciplining Teens Dr. Rhonda Patrick Tetra-Amelia Syndrome Snapchat The Butterfly Circus Eating Disorder Communicating with your child School Anxiety Butane Hask Oil Managing substance abuse Parenting with purpose Edmond Family Counseling privilege How to detect signs of depression Divorce Twenty Somethings spring Edmond Municipal Court Grandparents as parents Facebook list Lee Daniel Kravetz Impact of Suicide How to manage anxiety The Martian Movie Tumblr How common are panic attacks Girl Strong How long should counseling take Learning Disabilites Prom guidelines for teens 13 Reasons Why NOT Prevention ADA Panic Personality Test Teenagers Sheila Stinnett Social anxiety The Golden Years What to do when you are laid off What Matters Most Program 13 Reasons Why Co-Parenting Sexual Abuse Teens and cell phones Gun violence and mental health Entitlement Syndrome Conflict Teenage Boys Reading Terrorism and children Andy Weir Detox Diet Parenting through Divorce Microagression Dating

Archive

Call Us Now!